It was a glorious day with lots of blue sky and dry, warm temperatures. Russell and I were at the park walking the dogs together, as we do often these days. There were more people at the park than we have seen in a while, but it was still easy to maintain plenty of social distance. It felt so normal: I think we are all ready for some normal.

I Am not a Lover of Routine…

Oddly, I am not someone who loves to have routines. My daily work schedule in almost every job I have ever had has never followed a script. Yes, there routine tasks I must do for work, but I often come to work planning to do one thing, only to have all my plans upended — and I thrive on that. My mom used to say that I was like this even before I could talk. She said she could see the wheels in my head spinning: I was always planning something new, rarely entertained with one toy for long.

Russell often gets frustrated with me because I like to change things up so often. I don’t like to watch the same television shows; I don’t like to reread a book just because I loved it; and I certainly don’t have a rotation of meals I cook every week. I don’t really like to have a schedule on the weekend at all, which drives Russell nuts. I might say in the morning, “Let’s go for dinner at El Tiempo tonight,” but by 4 o’clock have something completely different in mind!

I can’t say this will change after our quarantine ends, but I will acknowledge I have appreciated and needed the routines we have had during this time – some new and some old – because they have made me feel like things are almost normal and have helped me keep connections to family and friends.

But some Routines are Lifelines.

These include the simple things Russell and I already did every day: drink coffee together in the morning before I left for work or eat dinner together at the table while sharing stories from our days. These have always been routines I treasured, but now I hang on to them for dear life.

I have a long-standing text conversation that I have had with four other women. These four friends mean the world to me. We talk about all manner of things from work to families to just sharing hilarious TikTok videos. They are often the first people I communicate with each morning when I wake and the last I talk to before I go to sleep. It is a lifeline for me during quarantine.

I have also enjoyed some new routines like playing bridge online with my bridge group – yes, the card game our parents and grandparents played. I have played with this group of women for over ten years on Sundays, but now we play using an app called Trickster while meeting virtually on Zoom and sharing cocktails just like before. We don’t have to wait until Sunday anymore – sometimes it just happens at the last minute, but it has been a Godsend to me.

I miss the routine of going to my office and I miss my work family. We all miss each other. My boss now hosts a daily virtual check in with all of us – this team of people that I would be friends with even if I didn’t work with them. It has become one of the highlights of my day. I look forward to seeing their faces and hearing what they have been up to. Some days we even dress up to match our virtual backgrounds!

Vivi: the Highlight of the Week

But, the highlight of this week and the part that felt most normal was getting to spend several hours with our granddaughter. It was a joy to see our daughter, Katie, and our son in law, Patrick, when we picked up our sweet Vivienne. Time flew by as we played some games where Vivi made up all the rules. I could not tell you exactly what we were playing, but I laughed a lot. We picked up her favorite, Shake Shack, and had a picnic in the park. Russell pulled her in our wagon after lunch as she yelled for him to go faster and faster and faster! It was a super normal day that didn’t feel very much like quarantine. We made memories and, for a moment, came out from under the dark shadow that has been over us for the last several weeks.

I have realized that these little moments that make us feel normal can have that effect. Life is funny like that. People need connection. Even when things seem bleak our connections lift some of that weight away.

What are the things you are doing to find your normal and to find your joy? Please share – maybe we can find some fun things to do.