I kept a journal while traveling across India. Not really a diary: observations, criticisms of myself, and an outline of a romantic short story that occurred to me at the Kama Sutra Temples in Khajuraho. (I won’t include any close-up pictures of the sculptures in those temples. You’ll have to google them if you want to see them).

My first notes are about some of my faux pas early in the trip. (While working on this blog a friend of mine, Nicholas Noecker Jr., told me “in Texas we pronounce it ‘fox pass.’” I had to write that down, and I intend to use it in the novel I’ll begin as soon as I finish the rewrites on my new, completed book).

“Fox Pass” Lesson

On my first day in India, in Delhi, I lost my hotel card key. When I went to the front desk to get a new key, the young woman from behind the counter handed me a new key card with both hands while very slightly bowing her head. I took the card with my right hand and thanked her, but I immediately saw from the look in her eyes that I had done something wrong. She looked down as if disturbed. I had insulted her.

Lesson Learned

Five days later, in Jaipur, I’m down in the lobby of our hotel and I realize that I have left my card key in my room. I can’t just go up and knock on the door for my wife to let me in — I need a key to make the elevator work. I ask the young woman behind the counter in this hotel for another card. She hands me one with both hands. I use both hands to take it from her and I thank her. She smiles, surprised an American took it correctly, I suppose. I’m very proud of myself.

And another…

It took us several days to transition from our normal American selves to our travel selves. Our normal selves (even though we are aware of many of the cultural differences) don’t automatically shift to our travel selves. We’re busy in our own lives. When we travel, we immerse ourselves as much as we can, so we do our best to absorb and adjust. My worst “fox pass” early in this trip was at the Sikh Temple in Delhi when I accidentally turned my back to the altar. My very even-tempered, mild mannered guide jumped out of his shoes (or would have if we weren’t all bare-foot in the temple) as he very quickly corrected my mistake. I was humiliated. The Indians there to worship were too kind and welcoming to say anything. They were wherever we went.

One of the main reasons we love travel is the chance to live in our travel selves, adopting the cultural norms and rules of the country we’re visiting and doing it properly. Whether it’s eating food as our hosts eat it or exchanging cards properly, we try to embrace where we are.

It takes two to three days for us to shift into this mindset. You have to have your coffee in the morning expecting the unexpected.

Side Notes

In India, if it’s inconvenient to drive on the correct side of the road, drivers don’t. Melinda asked the guide about it. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s a democracy.”

It’s like being in a YouTube video of bad Russian drivers or in a video game. The difference is it’s a heck of a lot scarier when you’re riding in a van and down a highway and there’s a car coming at you going the wrong way in your lane. It happens repeatedly.

But, of course, it’s a democracy.